How Do You REALLY Feel?

November is National Adoption Month. I am going to be posting my adoption thoughts throughout this month. Everything. I feel it is something I need to do. I need to share. Okay? Go.


There is a question I get quite often. "How do you REALLY feel about your parents adopting kids?" 
It has always taken me back a bit. 
When my parents announced that they were adopting Anna Grace in 2005, I honestly, at the age of 10, thought nothing of it. I only was consumed with getting a sister. Her not being "biological" or "blood-related" or any of that other silly, so not important stuff never crossed my mind. I was just in the pure innocent thoughts of a child. "I am getting a SISTER!" Isn't that how it is supposed to be? Once we brought Anna Grace home, I was on fire for the orphan. I was changed for good. 


I prayed non-stop for 3 years for Andrew. I dreamed of a new little love from China. I knew he was there. So, in 2009 when my parents found this precious boy on a HOPE List, it was too good to be true. I was thrilled. The months leading to Andrew were filled with a lot of judgements from others, a lot of preparation, and a lot of excitement. 
Once Andrew was home, reality hit. and it hits hard. Andrew was a 3 1/2 year old little boy that had just been ripped from everything he knew. It was hard. Did I regret my parents decision? Absolutely not. 


Ainsley was another one of my prayers. {My suggested I stop going to God for such matters because it always seems to happen, just kidding of course} Ainsley is our faith. My parents gave us {my siblings} the option of Ainsley {of course, going with where they felt God calling, but they wanted our opinion} We could have easily said that No we didn't want another child to come home. We didn't. We all felt blessed beyond belief to have the opportunity to bring another little one home! We don't know what is going to happen once she arrives home, but right now we are living in the moment, preparing for the future, and counting down the days to bringing her home! 


In saying all of that, I will now get to my actual point. 
How do I really feel about my parents adopting? 
I could give you the cookie-cutter, always right, no real truth answer. Say, "Oh, I love it so much! Life is perfect! Anna Grace and Andrew are the greatest things ever and I just love adding to the family" 
I know that is what every one wants to hear. How do I really feel though? 


I feel blessed. BEYOND what I deserve. 
I am constantly asking God why He chose me and my family to pursue this amazing journey of adoption. I have realized though that He chose us ALL to be blessed with Adoption. We are all adopted by Him. We can all do something to help. 
Yes, each adoption had the hard moments, hard days, things I missed, and little losses I grieved over as a , but I have three beautiful siblings now, which I would never trade. Three beautiful children who will now learn about Jesus, have a Mommy and Daddy, Siblings, LOVE, and so many things they wouldn't have if not for us stepping out and adopting them. 
These adoptions have done SO much for me. They forever changed me for the better. I may have my moments of thinking "Oh I could have this...or that" blah blah blah. All EARTHLY things that don't matter. I have SO much more right now. in this moment. than I ever needed or deserved. I have learned and been taught so many things through our adoptions. I learned that it's okay to miss the simplicity of what used to be and what could have been, all while rejoicing in what I have now and what the Lord has done in my Family. 

anna grace, andrew& ainsley adoption changes lives.

If I had the choice to go back and change things, would I? 
Absolutely Not. Never. Ever. 
I am exactly where I want to be. Feeling so blessed with each step.