Friday, March 23, 2012

wake up call.

in december i went to an orphanage and posted about it here.

i was broken. i was absolutely devastated. and my life was forever changed. i received a very loud wake up call. 

see, the moment i walked in to that little room in the orphanage i spotted a baby across the room between two other babies and something inside of me jumped. something inside of me knew. i knew this little girl had to come out. i knew i could not leave her. and sweet amanda agreed and later praised my persistence for this little girl. 

i picked her up. kissed her head and whispered a promise. that i would never let her see that orphanage again. a promise i kept. 

we rode home from the orphanage. the entire time i take in this tiny, tiny baby's sweetness. and debate a name. so much is in a name. and i knew what her name would be. i plan. i love to plan. and i have already planned my children's names. and my very favorite is going to be a little girl from china whose name will be liliana. as soon as i thought of it i knew that was her name. liliana means innocence and beauty. how fitting. 

anyways, we got back to starfish. bathed and weighed liliana and gave her her first full bottle. took some priceless pictures and cherished that little bit of time i got to spend with her. i looked forward to watching her grow through pictures and one day seeing her and loving her again. she was dubbed mine. i was head over heels. 

then this week. my world went in to a spiral. i found out my liliana had passed away. i sobbed. and sobbed. and sobbed a little more. my heart is broken. broken for the little girl who will never have a family. broken because i will never get to hold her again on this side of heaven. call me crazy, really please do. cause i am. i act like this is my child, but to me she was. 

my sweet liliana is with jesus and she is perfect. her death did not go unnoticed. she is not forgotten. she has been cried for. she is loved. and she is so missed. my sweet liliana is different from 163 million other orphans in this world. many who died today. many will die tomorrow. do you mourn for them like those who mourn for liliana?

we need a wake up call. we need to realize that there are babies dying. there are babies who go completely unnoticed. we have to make a difference. we have to wake up. we owe these children that much. God doesn't call us or kindly ask us to care for the orphans...He 

you were so loved and will be so missed, sweet liliana.

For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power and is intended for His glory. To Him be glory evermore. -Romans 11:36

sunday snapshot


  1. Oh I am so sorry to hear that- my heart is aching. I AM mourning knowing that this is happening. Lord bless you!

  2. A sweet post. So sorry to hear she passed. Bless you.

  3. So very sorry that Liliana has passed away...I am sure she felt your love and God bless you for being there for her even for a short time. It makes me so sad to think about all the little ones who don't make it and who have never known the love of a family....our little girls could have easily been one of them. Hugs

  4. Oh my. Ashton, I am SO sorry. Sorry for everything. I remember that post about sweet Liliana. I could feel your love for her. He has a plan. xoxo- Ruthie

  5. So sad and so moved by your post. So sorry for little Liliana, but praying for her and all the others still waiting and hoping for a family. Thank you for sharing.

  6. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Liliana. I remember you talking to me about your time at the orphanage while we walked through the park in Guangzhou. God has some mighty plans for you Ashton, that I know. Peace in knowing that that sweet baby girl could feel your love, if even for a moment. She is healthy, happy and whole in Heaven.



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